I funking hate this guy
From now on
His name is laundry jerk
I now live in a college dorm
And with that comes a college dorm laundry room
That all residents of my 15 floor building use
This is already kinda weird
The relationship between you and your clothes is special
It's an extension, an expression of yourself
Washing them is akin to taking a bath
It's a moment where it's all out there, naked, having the dirt and grime washed away
So many clothes, so many peices of you
Enter: laundry jerk
At first he seemed normal
Just a guy waiting for his laundry to finish
I put my stuff in the machine, all is well
And then, he opens a drier and takes out only a few articles of clothing
This is strange to me, but maybe they really needed to be washed right away
Maybe blood got on them or it's his special occasion outfit
I don't mind
He gets it out, gently folds it into his laundry basket, and stays
What?
What's happening?
Didn't he just
He opens the washer
Takes clothes out
Puts it in a drier
Maybe the other batch needed specialty drying
Maybe-
He puts the clothes from one washer
Into two driers
He takes his colors and lights
From one washer
And randomly throws them into two different driers
It's over, right?
There's no way it can get more confusing
he starts putting stuff in the washer
IT HAS BEEN
30 minutes
I am
Appaled
We have the technology
I just moved all my clothes from my own washer
To the one drier I will be using
Colors and lights together
Because we have the technology to do that
And I had to clean out the lint
I repeat
I cleaned out lint from the drier I was about to use
The same one laundry jerk just used
For that first batch of like 4 things I saw
He didn't even use the same one he used for those 4 items when he split 1 washer to two driers
Am I going insane
Am I losing it
Am I in the wrong here
There's no way laundry jerk did all that
And didn't clean the lint.
Top 10 people
Who should DIE
Why are you waiting around in the laundry room
Set an alarm go eat breakfast
You clearly don't care about the bond between people and their pelts
I'm going to kill someone
I'm going to kill someone
You're dead laundry jerk
I'm so sick of this
How
How does someone become that
How could anyone end up being that person
I have my problems
I have my fucked up quirks
I'm obsessive and maniacal and depressed and have really specific fears about weird things
BUT I AM NEVER
This much of a NUISANCE
(In public)
I'm never a menace to ALL OF SOCIETY
I never disparage the very concept of humanity's togetherness
He makes me question my ideals
Laundry Jerk
Am I being haunted
Is he like
A spectre
A yokai
What is this
What am I being punished for
I'm so...
Anger
I feel
Anger
I don't have any good clothes
I'm wearing my laundry outfit
That weird bullshit of "the shirt and pants combo that never gets worn"
It looks awful
I'm like a ketchup and mustard bottle
Damn you laundry jerk
You ass
I'm hungry
I just want to go eat... eggs
But my outfit is god awful
I have to have this laundry done
Me reading the classifieds of a local newspaper from Kingsbury on the date August 12th, 2020, and getting upset that I'm not qualified for any of the positions except for helping out with an assisted living home and actually I could probably be a Secondary Math Teacher but you know, Potter County highway superintendent probably pays a lot better
But the hours at the Assisted Living House conflict with my classes, I don't have an educators liscense, and I don't live near Kingsbury
I really do need a job though
Maybe I should... put together a resume
NOTE: The rest of this is not from the original, but rather, stuff I remember thinking but never recording.
I used the elevator a LOT during this story. An absurd amount, really.I was so annoyed because of that fucker I kept forgetting stuff in my room and needing to go and get it then come back. As such, I believe I used the elevator a total of 8 times. Now, I live on the top floor of my building, but the elevator only goes to the lounge floor Someone was chilling in the lounge floor eating a sandwhich and saw me use the elevator. Eight times. (Not all of them are placed super obviously within the remble, but at the paragraph breaks before "Top 10," "I don't have any," and "Me reading the classifieds" are all instances I had to make a round trip. They probably thought I was some kind of "elevator jerk" for obvious reasons. However, the person who saw me use the elevator several times was eating a sandwhich, which I only noticed from how strongly it smelled of fish and eggs. Someone later that day was complaining in the building's massive groupme groupchat that someone had stolen their tuna salad sandwhich. I suppose everyone is someone else's mysterious jerkass.