Just finished Citizen Kane in my Intro to Cinema Studies class
I have comments
1) There is a jumpscare in Citizen Kane.
It exists to make sure that the audience is awake during the final scenes
Greatest movie of all time has something in it
Just to make sure that the audiance hasn't fully clonked out
Yeah
"Greatest movie of all time" my ass
I mean seriously
The director is clearly aware that the movie isn't able to hold your attention well enough
I was awake the entire time
Paying attention
And I got punished with a jumpscare meant for people who made the correct decision and mentally checked out
2) Charles Foster Kane is an interesting guy when he's younger
He's kinda fucking boring when he's older
Finishing the notice? That was kinda cool. The political stuff? I can get behind that.
The scene where he's initially getting started at the papers? I liked that!
Too bad everything even tangentially related to Xanadu is so fucking uninteresting
Susan is an interesting character
Too bad half of her story is just
Kane being a shitty old man
Seriously jesus Christ
It gets so fucking boring during her part
I fucking get it. She doesn't want to sing.
His son has like 3 lines total
I get that none of the characters they interview really knew the son
And the son isn't alive to be interviewed
But isn't the entire point of the movie that his childhood was the best part of his life, the only part that he wasn't a loveless man?
And we're not even going to mention his son for longer than 3 seconds
Okay, sure
There's a lot of interesting stuff
But they don't really focus on it
Instead they just have every character they interview follow the basic formula of
"Rosebud? Idk what rosebud is."
"Here's my life story told as part of Kane's story"
"He truly was a man that wanted everyone to love him but didn't love anyone"
Just
x10
Every character without fail makes those two points
And then proceeds to ignore themselves as an interesting character and talk about Kane during his interesting phase for 2 seconds and then his uninteresting phase for 10 minutes
There are 3 scenes with old kane that matter for him as a character
When he dies at the start of the movie
When he tears the declaration to shreds
and when he trashes the room but stops when he sees the snowglobe
Every other scene about old kane is boring as fuck
Notice how I'm spending so much time
Discussing in slightly different ways
How old Kane is kinda boring
That's how watching the movie feels
You, reading this, probably want me to move on from this topic, discuss something more interesting.
Well I will
3) Rosebud
We all know that it's the sled right
We all get it
CloudyShadow — 09/13/2022 8:29 PM
I dont get it
Remfield — 09/13/2022 8:30 PM
Well you don't fucking have too
CloudyShadow — 09/13/2022 8:30 PM
Oh ok 😦
Because the interviewer literally says "knowing what rosebud is won't tell us anything"
THEY JUST GIVE UP AND DECIDE "you know what idc what rosebud is, it doesn't matter, we've found an interesting angle without knowing it"
And then the film, after every character gets over it
Decides to tell us that rosebud is a sled
2 hours after we even see a sled in the movie
YOU HAVE TO REWATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE TO GET THE POINT OF ROSEBUD
WHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCK?
NO ONE ON THEIR FIRST WATCH THROUGH
IS GOING TO REMEMBER THE FUCKING SLED SHOWN FOR 15 SECONDS TOTAL FROM THE FIRST FEW MINUTES
THIS IS SO STUPID
YEAH IT'S GOOD SYMBOLISM
TOO BAD NO ONE WATCHING THE FUCKING MOVIE
IS GOING TO REMEMBER THAT THERE WAS A SLED IN THE STORY
AND THE INTERVIEWER
LITERALLY SAYS THAT KNOWING WHAT ROSEBUD IS WON"T TELL YOU ANYTHING
Maybe I'm just stupid
But I feel like I could make a better movie than Citizen Kane
with the exact same premise and overarching story
THEY INCLUDED A JUMPSCARE
TO MAKE SURE THE AUDIANCE IS AWAKE
FOR THE TWIST THAT DOESN'T MATTER
AFTER BORING THE AUDIANCE WITH OLD KANE FOR AN ENTERNITY
Citizen Kane is fucking garbage bro I do not care what anyone says
I felt nothing the entire moving
Other than hope that it'll go in a different direction finally
Or boredom
Or annoyance
If anyone likes the movie citizen kane
Please DM me
I need to know why
It's not a bad movie
It's pretty good even
But people praise it as the best thing ever
It's legit just